Eclectic Oatmeal

Crucial Learning Center for the Lame.

Posted in boredom, Cosplay, Posers, resentment of the world by Bryan on November 18, 2008
Hail, Hail!

I am stranded on an island called, “The computer lab.” I dont even have the unfinished work for my lame play, which would be my paddle. While someone stares over my shoulder insessantly, odding me out beyond control. It might not seem awkward on paper, but when you’re typing about that person who is staring over your shoulder, reading what you’re typing, its awkward. Especially when he gets super defensive when I get angered over the computer, and then tries to discuss with me video games. I want to claw him in the face with my monkey paw. Seriously, this kid is the lamest of creepy nerds. Rumor has it, he touched himself while watching fine art in a class.

Also, he sits like L from Death Note. Which angers me. All of those people who watch a show and suck away all of the coolness by trying to act like the character. “Oh I’m Kakashi!” or “Oh, I’m dark and brooding.” A girl in my school dyed her hair black, just to look like an anime character. Mother Earth would not approve. I think she would sprout out little barklings and human leaf people to obliterate the anime addicted wabanease. Hateness incarnate. Loud ass, colorful, obtrusive garments somehow look better in a cartoon! Ever see someone dressed as Mickey Mouse? No, because Mickey dresses like a dumbass, like most anime characters. Now, I dont hate anime. The gods I worship smile upon good anime, they radiantly shine their UV rays of Deism down on great anime.
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That was when I ruled the world.

Posted in boredom, weight loss, wiifit by Bryan on June 27, 2008

Man, I dont have a life. My plan today after waking up was sitting around on the couch watching the Project Runway marathon, while casually playing Final Fantasy on my DS. In the olden days, this could be turned into chain smoking while listening to the radio. In the older olden days, I could be throwing pebbles against each other to discern the future. In the older older olden days, I would have been eaten by a dinosaur. Lung Cancer, A poor future, and being digested dont seem appetizing to me. But why does sitting on the couch watching flamboyant shows while defending a fictional town seem appealing to me? I should read. I should do alot of things. My wiifit board, being the masochist it is, wants me to stand on it. I need to get off my ass and so something productive.

The Next Day: Yesterday, I ran for around 13 minutes (Wiifit says its around 2 miles. Big news for a Professional couch potato.) Well, that 13 minutes paid off. I do my daily weight test, to see how much eating 8 tacos effected me. Well, it didnt effect me. It said I lost 4 pounds. In one day! I dont know if its a fritz in the system, or an act from god. I dont know, neither do I question this beautiful basket delivered on my front doorstep. I can now be gleeful, I’m now only overweight (No longer obese). I can now only have mild humiliation when I swim, I can go from large to medium! I can no longer make myself look pregnant (I think I still can, It needs to be tested.)

The Day After: Teeming with joy with my recent major weightloss. I step on the wii balance board, with a shocking conclusion. I gained 7 pounds in one night! Sure, I did some serious snacking the night before, but its impossible to gain 8 pounds in one night. Still, this is discouraging. 10 minutes of step-aerobics and 20 minutes of running SHOULD cure this weight ailment.