Eclectic Oatmeal


Posted in Uncategorized by Bryan on December 30, 2008



Posted in armpit by Bryan on December 29, 2008

2 blogs in one week? Some people might question when I got all, “FUCK YES, I’M GOING TO BLOG ALL THE TIME!”. Well, dear reader, I bought “Comedic Writing for Dummies! (Generic Brand of it though)” and it told me to hone my craft, and to force the funny out of any situation possible and that I should spend about an hour a day writing. I remember to do this tonight, right when I realize that I’m fucking tired.


This blog is now another comic blog. Deal with it.

Christmas blues.

Posted in Uncategorized by Bryan on December 28, 2008

I cannot tell you how much I hate family time. Its not that I hate it (Only the moments spent with Brooke*) Its such a bore. Especially christmas, all of its magic is sucked out of it. Santa doesnt exist, and my Mom doesnt fill the void in my heart that he left. She left gift lists, receipts, and gifts lying around the house this year. Unwrapped, unexplained, and uncool. Half the fun of Christmas is snooping around. Poking and shaking presents to hear the jingles** of the presents behind the beautiful paper.
It doesnt help that my mother’s niece and nephew were lobotomized***. Their father is a principal, which demands that they act as mild mannered, scholarly, and sportastic as each occasion requires. I hate them, they come over my house and eat all this shit, and dont even provide decent conversation. Their portly father and their batshit-nervous mother only cough up free movie tickets. While my Mom showers their son with 2 movies and a video game. Thats around a 100 dollars worth of free shit, all because of a family tree blessing. Fucker..
*Homicidal Bitch Extrodanaire.
**Games,DvDs, and CDs dont jingle. LAME! Product makers, make more sound hints.
***In a sense… Theres alot that church, Madden, and Holiday punch can do to you.