Eclectic Oatmeal

Being crafty is being devious.

Posted in Crafts, divination, Humor, Pathetic, Stalking? by Bryan on July 17, 2008

I should befriend a diviner, or I should practice divination techniques. I think that should be my new hobby. I could grab an 8 ball and shake it endlessly, giving people relationship advice and asking it how I should treat people, because its really getting confusing now of days. It would be neat if I actually believed in that stuff. If someone knew their fate, then they’d just wait around endlessly not doing anything to achieve it, and then it would be screwed up. Still, it’d be nifty.

Is it pathetic that I go to Starbucks, not for coffee or artsy atmosphere, but to possibly encounter the group of extraordinary attractive gentlemen? I’m constantly looking around when I’m out and about, hopefully seeing them and come up with a plan. I’m chalk-full of plans. I’m a planner. Debating jokes and ice breakers. I was thinking of the line “Oh, you enjoy scrapbooking? I think it would be a great way to relieve rage. Scissoring and Gluing is like egging a house, or saran wrapping a car in the mind of the Scrapbooker.” or “You know, in a movie Assassins use cloth to exchange murder targets. Those prints are just too adorable to be used for the purposes of baby clothes.” at Pat Catans. Of course, I would never approach them if I didn’t consult my tea leaves first (I bet if I ran into the bathroom, I could use the toilet as a boiling device.)


One Response

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  1. Appleninjaa said, on July 17, 2008 at 11:21 pm

    how would you get the water in the toilet to boil?
    either that or carry a mini tea pot with you and just sit outside and light a fire.
    but that would just look to suspicious.

    And I know I can’t just say, “Stop being a wussy and approach the guys you find attractive” cause it’s kinda a different story.
    We need to get you a gaydar.

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