Eclectic Oatmeal

All the children sing my songs.

Posted in gay, gaydar by Bryan on June 20, 2008

I should just take another plunge. Another plunge into humiliation and self loathing. Its one of those things that afterwards, one just feels completely stupid afterwards. Mortification would be the definition of the problematic situations that me and my people suffer. Its definately suffering. Its one of the lamest sufferings to ever describe.

Though I feel stupid for describing it, I shall. The plight of the gay person is terrible. I shant complain about the whole stereotyping and prejudice aspect. You all know it, and its no fun to read. This is the plight of seeing if a guy is straight or not. This seems like a simple test of perception (Which, by the way, is a new skill in DnD 4.o), but it can easily turn into a excructiating exam of reading people. I dont see how other people do it so well, they should all become poker players. I for one, am not a poker player, my cash in facebook blackjack is-1500$. The gamble is also huge, its completely embarassing to hit on someone who doesnt roll your way. You cant just meekly drink a beverage and shy away. I’m in situations were I have no where to run, so I have to wallow in my own social filth. Theres supposed to be this look I guess. This geisha flash of the eyes, but I dont have the gaydar radio tower to detect it. Even if I could smell the musk of a fellow queer, I wouldnt be attracted. Life cant be that easy for me. I have to be attracted to macho stallions. People so under my gaydar, that I have to use leznar, the sonar to the radar. Its excrutiating, a test of willpower.

Should I plunge? There isnt really anyone worth plunging for. Should I take the dive into self sacrifice and ask?

I went to the cleavland pride festival sunday. Whole story short, it was really gay. Near the end of our trip, I wasnt getting hit on. So, I decided to take fate into my own hands and ask a cute boy with a camera and a fledgling beard. Totally my type, so I walked up, nervous as shit, and asked him. As I walked, not paying attention to anything, Julia (my friend from DnD) saw McDreamy nibbling on his girlfriend’s ear. She couldnt do anything to stop me from the awkward ness.
“Hi, are you gay?”
“Why?” said Indie & Steamy
“Because I think you are very attractive.”
“Um, this is my girlfriend Kate.”
“OH! Hey Kate!”
“Dont worry, I think he is cute too!” says Kate whom, in a different life, I would totally hang out with.
“Well, you have good taste then!”
I sheepishly powerwalk away. Later, I had to hide myself behind another friend, Renee, because he and his hip posse were walking by.


2 Responses

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  1. Eleanor said, on June 20, 2008 at 11:32 pm


  2. appleninjaa said, on June 26, 2008 at 5:05 am

    My gaydar isn’t so swell either, Bryan.
    But you should start that Gay thing were Gays get together and talk.
    They have something like that in the book Rainboy boys.
    Just don’t go home with any “adult”.
    They aren’t that smart. ha.

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